Stepping stones

I have failed to incessantly stop depending on the internet for the purpose of ranting about the glorious ups and downs of this 'yes-I-tell-myself-its-marvelous-to-make-me-feel-better' life of mine. I thought I had it all wrapped up in my old space, for I made a mental note to myself that I shall not spend ridiculous amounts of hours composing a mouthful of words that seem to add up to nothing. Frankly, I admit that nobody could really make sense of what I used to write most of the time. I don't blame them, because I always tend to go on and on being too verbose, and consequently fail to prove my point. Sheesh. Well, hope I don't sound too boring already, because I am currently placed in a fairly satisfying room condition (i.e. dimmed lights with the rain pouring outside.. okay maybe not. It WAS pouring, but I think it's only drizzling now) with a cup of creamy hot chocolate for the extra fix.

The weather's been depressing throughout. Thank God its the weekend, saves the burden of getting all soaked when you're hopping on and off the tram. I'm thinking of getting myself a yellow raincoat, the same color to what I once had when I was 4. I remember it had a little picture of a house next to a rainbow printed at the bottom left of the coat, and I packed it in my mini backpack together with my red lunch box everyday to Montessori. It's great to be able to recall the little things that happened when you were young, it makes you smile to think that everything seemed to be all nice and dandy as a kid..

...before you snap back to reality and you realize that you have exactly one (1) month to your final exams. What a let down. Good to know that I did have much going on the whole day. Finally after two (2) months of moving into this humble (maybe a tad snobbish) abode of mine, I got around doing some intense cleaning (i.e. vacuuming). Lol. Yes, I reckon that's considered intense enough when you hardly even arrange your books properly on your shelf. Okay, this is quite a bad impression of myself but I'm not all that untidy really. Its just that I leave everything to the end, and well, that's why the rough patches need extra attention and care.

I thought I had it all in good hands this time. I thought I had something to fall back onto. I thought the time has come for me to deserve a little bit more than before. Maybe it's just another decade of waiting, waiting, and more waiting. God forbid, I don't wanna feel how I felt a couple of hours ago. I'm walking on ice.